A BUSH A DAY

2009-03-27T10:17:00.001-07:00

"You're not ticklish? Oh really? EVERYONE is ticklish!!! See??"

2009-03-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hillary: ***This should be MY job. MY JOB!!! Oh well. At least I'm standing RIGHT behind the podium. I'll just photoshop him out when I get home.***

2009-03-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

"WHAT THE HECK!!! Can't a guy exit the bathroom in peace & privacy?!?!?!"

2009-03-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

**Ok... just focus on what coach said. Become ONE with the bowling ball. BEEEE the bowling ball!!!!**

2009-03-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Very nice. VERY nice. How much did you say you bench? 280?"

2009-03-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

BLUE STEEL PART DEUX

2009-03-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

**Crap!!! How did I manage to get this jolly rancher caught in my throat right as the cameras started rolling??**

2009-03-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

A new year, a new president to make fun of!!!!

2008-09-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

****They don't think I can spit 20 feet?? YEAH??? I'LL SHOW THEM!!****

2008-09-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

**Oh man, I love it when Condi wears heels!**

2008-09-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

**I know I tucked my Bugles in here... dammit did they fall out in the bathroom?**

2008-08-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry, Mr. President, but you can't expect to get my approval by putting the moves on me. I'm a Cheney girl."

2008-08-25T14:01:00.001-07:00

**Wow... how does he get his hair so smooth and shiny?? No matter what I do, my hair looks like a ferret after the rinse cycle. I'm gonna need to chat with him after the meeting about this.**

2008-08-22T13:51:00.000-07:00

**Dammit why is everyone smirking at me?? This look worked for Napoleon. No one laughed at him. What happened to RESPECT??**

2008-08-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

"Closed off from love I didn’t need the pain, Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain... keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love..... Come on guys, join in!!!"

2008-07-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

*DAMMIT! These reporters KNOW I lose it when they ask me to discuss my duties! duties doodies duties doodies duties doodies STOP IT GEORGE*

2008-07-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

*I thought imitation was the highest form of flattery?? She's totally ignoring my fish pucker. WTF?*

2008-07-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

*What is this, some kind of magical forcefield? A trick door? A secret hiding place? With my cunning intellect I will have this cracked in no time!!! Muahaha!*

2008-07-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

"down low... TOO SLOW!!!!"

2008-04-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

"Help!!! Somebody!! Get me out of here! My arm got stuck in the cupholder!"

2008-04-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

"Pssst! Condi! Can I copy your notes after this?"

2008-04-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

**I know JUST the thing to cheer up this gloomy office... MY PTERODACTYL IMPRESSION!! YES!**

2008-04-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

**Good Lord, I'm such a GENIUS for bringing my vibrating massage chair with me. These meetings are finally tolerable!**

2008-03-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

"George, for the last time, STOP blowing the whistle! The kids aren't even here yet to start the egg hunt! And blowing it now does NOT mean that you get a head start."

2008-03-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

**Well geez, how can I start the negotiations if my sunshine pin isn't even on straight?! Learn to prioritize, people!**

2008-03-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

**Arrgghh! Making the symbol for "East Siiiide" is a lot harder than it looks!!**

2008-03-06T13:31:00.000-08:00

"George, honey, calm down. Your butt looks JUST FINE."

2008-03-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

"AAAHH! The stink-palm!! Let go of my hand this minute you fake Republican bastard!! This is disgusting! Do you think I haven't seen Mallrats??"

2008-03-04T15:31:00.000-08:00

"God dammit, can't a guy take a pee in the woods without a camera crew and a bunch of guys in black suits following him around?"

2008-03-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

"I don't understand the question. Have I lost my mind?? No. It's right inside this area of my head here, y'see?"

2008-01-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

*Wow, I think this must be what a pimp feels like!*

2008-01-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Why did Mom and Pop get so scared when they saw my cardboard cut out of Saddam?

2008-01-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

*With this ingenious device, I can have my speech fed to me and no one is the wiser! Muahaha!*

2008-01-07T09:35:00.000-08:00

*I LOVE this guy! He can't pronounce Iraq either!*

2008-01-04T15:25:00.000-08:00

"See? This pancake looks totally edible, doesn't it!"

*Crap, how the hell am I going to get rid of this? Should I stick it in my sock? Or hide it in my cheek? Think, George! Think!*

2008-01-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

*Jenna is always bragging about her stupid bling... well wait until she sees MY new bling! BOOYA!*

2008-01-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

"I FEEL LIKE PRETTY WOMAN!!!" **giddy**

2007-12-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

*Condi said I needed to start looking more intelligent and less like I'm thinking about chimichangas all the time. I wonder if this new look is working. I bet it is. I bet I look FIERCELY intelligent right now.*

2007-12-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

**Note to self: I need to work on perfecting my reaction to questions I don't understand**

2007-12-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

"Two handed arm wrestling?! Do you even know the rules? Whatever bitch, I'll beat you anyway!"

2007-12-04T09:25:00.000-08:00

"Ok, quick question. Is anyone else as freaked out by this guy's googly eyes as I am? I really can't work like this."

2007-12-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

*This is definitely the most action I've gotten since that day 6 years ago when I asked Laura why she always has a boy haircut*

2007-11-16T21:23:00.000-08:00

"Dude, no chest butt?? WTF?"

2007-11-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

"Crap, I think we just missed The Bachelor. I'm setting an alarm on my watch for next week."

2007-11-14T21:07:00.000-08:00

*Argh!! I hate it when I get a fit of the giggles in the middle of a funeral!*

2007-11-13T22:25:00.000-08:00

*I cannot BELIEVE I left my milk duds in the car. It's so hard to sit through this shit without a snack. I hate myself. I. hate. myself.*

2007-11-12T11:03:00.001-08:00

"No, Mr. President. I already told you I don't have 9 trillion dollars to loan you. Sorry."

2007-11-09T21:32:00.000-08:00

"Ok God, seriously, I'll give you a hug AND a kiss if you'll just bump my approval rating up to 50%!"

2007-11-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

*If I had X-ray vision, I would be able to see who has Cheetos in their pocket. Damn it! I could be snacking right NOW!*

2007-11-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

Jazz hands!

2007-11-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

"No seriously, who's the jokester? Why were my running shorts in my pocket instead of my speech?"

2007-11-05T16:13:00.000-08:00

*I HATE it when I get Skittles stuck in my teeth. It's always the green ones. and ALWAYS in the middle of a damn press conference!*

2007-11-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

*This dude is NOT getting away before I get my photo op!*

2007-11-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

*Laura just doesn't know what she's talking about. My hairdresser did a great job of creating the "intelligent and regal, yet humble and brave" look I requested.*

2007-10-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

"Seriously, Larry. The article said I can be a little flamboyant at times. I don't get it either!"

2007-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

"See, I told you it was possible to take off your underwear without removing your pants!"

2007-10-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

*Who was the bastard who created turtlenecks??? I should have a great view right now, and I can't see ANYTHING!*

2007-10-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

*Why did I try to hide all the jellybeans in my cheeks?! Why oh whyyyy didn't I put them in my pocket!! What the hell am I supposed to do now???*

2007-10-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

"Larry, you're such an airhead. I thought I told you this shirt was dry clean ONLY!"

2007-10-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

*I KNEW I would lose it if she said DUTY one more time!!!*

2007-10-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

*Crap! Another question I can't answer. What do I do... what do I do?? I know! Everyone loves Popeye, right?? YES! I don't know why I didn't think of this before!*

2007-10-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

*I wonder why Britney got botox? If you just push your lips out a little, they look just as good. Actually, they probably look even BETTER. I wish I had a mirror right now. I wonder if I can sneak away to the bathroom for a minute. SHIT! I think someone just asked me a question!*

2007-10-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

"See, if you stand at just the right angle, you can look up Condi's skirt when she's climbing the stairs!!"

"YES, yes that's her! Now quit pointing, you'll give us away!"

2007-10-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

"LOL! Who, me?? I didn't start the Iraq war! Ross Perot did! Get your facts straight!"

2007-10-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

BLUE STEEL

2007-10-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

*Wow, I didn't think he'd enjoy the booty slap THAT much*