****They don't think I can spit 20 feet?? YEAH??? I'LL SHOW THEM!!****

**Oh man, I love it when Condi wears heels!**

**I know I tucked my Bugles in here... dammit did they fall out in the bathroom?**

"I'm sorry, Mr. President, but you can't expect to get my approval by putting the moves on me. I'm a Cheney girl."

**Wow... how does he get his hair so smooth and shiny?? No matter what I do, my hair looks like a ferret after the rinse cycle. I'm gonna need to chat with him after the meeting about this.**

**Dammit why is everyone smirking at me?? This look worked for Napoleon. No one laughed at him. What happened to RESPECT??**

"Closed off from love I didn’t need the pain, Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain... keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love..... Come on guys, join in!!!"

*DAMMIT! These reporters KNOW I lose it when they ask me to discuss my duties! duties doodies duties doodies duties doodies STOP IT GEORGE*

*I thought imitation was the highest form of flattery?? She's totally ignoring my fish pucker. WTF?*

*What is this, some kind of magical forcefield? A trick door? A secret hiding place? With my cunning intellect I will have this cracked in no time!!! Muahaha!*

"down low... TOO SLOW!!!!"

"Help!!! Somebody!! Get me out of here! My arm got stuck in the cupholder!"

"Pssst! Condi! Can I copy your notes after this?"

**I know JUST the thing to cheer up this gloomy office... MY PTERODACTYL IMPRESSION!! YES!**

**Good Lord, I'm such a GENIUS for bringing my vibrating massage chair with me. These meetings are finally tolerable!**

"George, for the last time, STOP blowing the whistle! The kids aren't even here yet to start the egg hunt! And blowing it now does NOT mean that you get a head start."

**Well geez, how can I start the negotiations if my sunshine pin isn't even on straight?! Learn to prioritize, people!**

**Arrgghh! Making the symbol for "East Siiiide" is a lot harder than it looks!!**

"George, honey, calm down. Your butt looks JUST FINE."

"AAAHH! The stink-palm!! Let go of my hand this minute you fake Republican bastard!! This is disgusting! Do you think I haven't seen Mallrats??"

"God dammit, can't a guy take a pee in the woods without a camera crew and a bunch of guys in black suits following him around?"

"I don't understand the question. Have I lost my mind?? No. It's right inside this area of my head here, y'see?"

*Wow, I think this must be what a pimp feels like!*

Why did Mom and Pop get so scared when they saw my cardboard cut out of Saddam?

*With this ingenious device, I can have my speech fed to me and no one is the wiser! Muahaha!*

*I LOVE this guy! He can't pronounce Iraq either!*

"See? This pancake looks totally edible, doesn't it!"

*Crap, how the hell am I going to get rid of this? Should I stick it in my sock? Or hide it in my cheek? Think, George! Think!*

*Jenna is always bragging about her stupid bling... well wait until she sees MY new bling! BOOYA!*

"I FEEL LIKE PRETTY WOMAN!!!" **giddy**